


How to get an A in Biology

by Mischa_L



Series: Gifts to my cousin [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Bodily Harm, M/M, Overprotective Family, Papa wolf!Garp, friendly (freeloading) neighbor Shanks, hysterical!Ace, indirect threatening of bodily harm, internally screaming!Law, vindictive!Sabo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 08:56:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9227846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischa_L/pseuds/Mischa_L
Summary: Luffy convinces Law to come over to his place to help him study for his biology exam... chaos ensues.Modern AU.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my cousin as a Christmas gift and we decided that it would be a shame to not share it with you guys as well. Enjoy!

Luffy's sandals slap loudly against the concrete and Law hides a wince when the sound reverberates around the deserted street. It's getting late, and the sun is already hanging low in the sky, casting the ground into a soft orange glow. Law has no idea how he’d let the little imp talk him into doing this. Law prides himself on his spine of steel – sheer bullheadedness, as Bepo likes to call it – and a steadfast resolution to never do anything that anyone else tells him to do - or being a stubborn asshole according to Shachi. All of this apparently does not apply when it comes to Monkey D. Luffy. Then again, Luffy reminds Law of himself for that very same reason; Luffy does whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

"Thanks for agreeing to help me, Traffy," Luffy smiles at him guilelessly, and Law looks away in disgust. The little imp had somehow managed to rope him into helping him with his biology homework or something, Law hadn't exactly been paying attention at the time, or he would have had the sense to say no. Luffy is many things, but a dedicated student is not one of them.

"I didn't agree to anything," Law huffs and smacks the younger boy on the back of his head, ignoring the pitiful whine it got him. "And for the last time, don't call me that!"

"Whatever you say, man." There is a spring in Luffy’s step and Law grimaces in distaste. He didn't get Luffy. The boy was filled continuously with impetuous energy, and nothing ever seemed to hurt his unwavering good humor. It is almost endearing at times how easily excitable Luffy is. Almost. It reminds Law of a little puppy.

Law lets his head fall back and heaves a sigh. It's getting worse. He keeps having these overwhelming feelings and urges that are only starting to become stronger and more frequent the more time he spends with Luffy. It's despicable, and Law wants to hate it, the way Luffy makes him lose all the careful control over himself he's painstakingly instilled, but it's impossible to resent that stupid grin of his and his heart of gold.

He shakes himself out of his funk and casts a look around to distract himself. He sees an old lady with beaded earrings up on one of the balconies, hanging up her laundry. The woman seems to know Luffy because she smiles at him and waves fondly in greeting. Luffy immediately draws her into a shouted conversation that Law does his best to ignore. He would have been more interested in knowing how his companion is connected to her but Law can't for the life of him because he’s noticed what the lady is putting out to dry. Law takes a moment to hope that what he is looking at is hopefully not real human skin but just a very realistic special effects bodysuits. Fucking hell, he hopes it is special effects because it seems like the lady had flattened humans out and is drying their empty husks. Luffy seems oblivious to it and is already saying his goodbyes while Law is still rooted to the spot as he tries to get a better look at the suits.

"Come around for tea soon, sweetie," The lady was crooning, and Law nearly lost it when she casually smooth’s her hand over the suits. This is getting too weird, even for him. Law is literally yanked out of his stupor as Luffy sets off again with him in tow. Law shakes off his daze and wrenches his arm out of Luffy's hold to walk beside him, ignoring the smile Luffy sends him. It is too early for this shit; eons too early.

"Okay, so my grandpa might be home but whatever you do, just stay calm, alright?" Law thinks he hasn't ever seen Luffy looking so serious in his entire life and it is putting him off.

"Stay calm? What is he going to do? Attack me?" Law asks incredulously.

"Knowing him, he just might. Just follow my lead, and we'll be fine," Luffy says grimly. Why on earth did Luffy offer his place as an optimal place to study if his grandfather has made a habit of attacking his guests? Law can't even dredge up an ounce of surprise at the fact that Luffy's relatives are unhinged in some way. It isn't like Luffy is the poster-boy of sanity or anything, what with his fondness for stealing food from the teacher's lounge and falling asleep in Smoker's class. Anyone who would voluntarily sleep in that man's classroom was missing some screws.

"You're joking right?" Law asks harshly, but Luffy ignores him, acting as if he hadn't just said the shadiest shit ever. Jesus Christ. Law has a feeling that this visit is going to be on par with Doflamingo's unannounced drop-ins in troublesomeness.

"You better ace this fucking test, you hear me," Law mutters, and Luffy laughs in delight.

"Of course I will if you're the one helping me study!" Luffy fishes out a keychain with a Kung Fu Dugong charm dangling from it and turns them up a path towards a tall apartment complex with a weathered red door.

Law flicks his ear for being cheeky, and Luffy nudges him with an elbow as he pushes the heavy door open.

"Brat."

"Old man."

Law chases Luffy up the rickety staircase and manages to trip him up twice before they reach the top. Luffy kicks at Law without success as he tries to take charge and ends up tripping over himself. He groans in defeat as Law steps over him but bounces back up and tackles him with a triumphant cheer as they're knocked into the door from the force of his lunge.

"I touched it first!" Luffy shouts straight into Law's ear and gets a hand in the face for his trouble as Law pushes him away.

"What have I told about using your inside voice," Law grumbles, and Luffy bites his lips in exaggerated concentration as his eyes screw up in contemplation as he tries to dig up the long-forgotten information.

"Uhm, to use it?" He hazards and Law pinched Luffy's chin between his thumb and forefinger and gives it a lose shake.

"Yes, please remember it this time." Luffy closes his eyes and sticks his tongue out, and Law smirks down at him.

"I don't think I will if it makes you do this to remind me every time." Law's eyes widen. The little hussy! Luffy laughs and pulls out of Law's slackened hold. He turns around and slides his key into the keyhole and turns it with a wiggle. The door opens with a mournful groan and Law follows Luffy into the brightly lit apartment.

He is reminded of Luffy’s ominous forewarning when they see a large white coat hanging from one of the racks with the word ‘Justice’ stamped on the back. He is about to make a comment on it when a shadow descends upon them.

"Is that you, Luffy?" A rough voice barks. Law leans over to see past Luffy, and his jaw nearly drops open in astonishment. Luffy had definitely never mentioned that his grandfather was the infamous Marine vice admiral, Monkey D Garp. Though now that Law thinks about it, the name should have clued him in.

“Grampa! What are you doing here?” Luffy yelps in dismay.

Garp’s face contorts with indignation, “What do you mean? 'What am I doing here,' brat? I live here!” His fist of love slams into Luffy’s skull, and Law is smart enough to get out of range when the madman descends on his grandchild. This is outright abuse, but Law is too surprised to intervene when Garp makes a grab for Luffy.

“You insolent, snot-nosed brat! Is this how you greet your beloved grandfather?” Garp roars and Luffy screams hoarsely when Garp fists the front of his jacket and hefts him into the air to shake him around roughly like a ragdoll.

“Let me go, gramps! Stop it!” Luffy grunts and kicks the air futilely. Garp puffs up again, preparing to give his grandson an earful. This seems to be a regular occurrence; no wonder Luffy was so hardy.

“Oi, at least let them through the door before you attack them!” A voice calls from inside the apartment. Garp's nostrils flare like a bull's and his head whips in the direction of the intruder. A blond young man with a horrific burn disfiguring his otherwise handsome features is standing in a doorway down the hall.

“Hiya, Sabo!” Luffy waves in greeting. He's unperturbed by the pair of death-rays drilling into the side of his face when Garp returns his attention to him.

“Wait, there’s two of them?” Garp asks in surprise, narrowed eyes zooming in on Law. He swings around to face him, Luffy still hanging from his fist like a limp fish, and towers over the visitor. “So, who are you?”

Luffy slips out of Garp’s hold by raising his arms and sliding out of his trapped jacket and onto the floor like a slippery bar of soap. “This is Tra-guy, my friend!” He calls out enthusiastically and ducks under Garp’s arm to throw himself onto Law, climbing him like a tree. Law tries to shove him off, but Luffy twists expertly and wraps his legs securely around Law’s waist like a stubborn monkey. Law has a feeling that Luffy is using him as a meat-shield to protect himself from Garp’s explosive temper.

"He's going to help me study for the bio exam!" Luffy explains, and Law nods in wordless agreement.

Garp eyes them suspiciously for a moment before grunting. "You better get an A on that exam, Luffy. Carry on." Law has a feeling that they'd just been dismissed; military style, that, or Garp has just lost interest in them because he is turning his lethal attention back to Sabo.

“So, you’re that Trafalgar guy that Luffy can’t shut up about?” Sabo smirks as he gives Law a once-over. Trafalgar? So the brat can remember his name.

"I talk about other stuff too!" Luffy whines in protest, but Law notices that he hadn’t denied the accusation.

“Yes, I’m that Trafalgar D Water Law,” he gives Sabo a dry look. "I'm here to teach the idiot anatomy, not to be set upon." He frees himself from Luffy’s clutches and pulls him to stand in front of him like a sacrificial offering. Payback for dragging him into this mess with only half a warning.

Garp doesn't rise to the bait as expected but gives Law a sharp evaluating look that shoots a chill down his spine. The faint crackle of packaging being open breaks the oppressive silence and Garp is gone in a flash, “Those better not be my tater-tots, Ace!”

Law's first opinion of the Monkey family is that they are loud. Very loud. His ears are still ringing, and Law shakes his head to clear it. Luffy is already kicking off his shoes and motioning for Law to do the same. Law shucks off his coat and throws it onto the coat stand while Luffy waits for him impatiently.

Sabo rolls his eyes heavenwards in fond disbelief, like their antics never ceases to amaze him, and disappears back into his room. Luffy drags Law down the hall and gives him a quick tour around the apartment. It's hard for Law to provide him with his full attention when it sounds like a war zone in the kitchen and Luffy wisely, in Law's opinion, skips the introduction to his other brother. Law has already met Ace and Sabo, though not officially. They'd been seniors when Law started as a freshman, and everyone had known about them. They'd ruled the school much like Law did now, though with a much more chaotic hand; it must be something one inherited from being born into the Monkey family.

Thankfully, they have no other run-ins with the other inhabitants, and they end up in the living room. They settle down to study some basic anatomy and Luffy spreads his things out on the floor while Law relaxes back on the couch and quizzes Luffy on the functions of the body's endocrine system. Predictably, Luffy doesn't do so well until they get to the bonus round, this time about animal anatomy.

"Where is the quarter on a steer?" Law asks, brows permanently stuck to his hairline as Luffy answers once again, this time without hesitation, and gets it right in one go.

"Easy, it’s here," Luffy indicates to the back thigh muscle on the picture Law is holding up for him with his pen.

"How do you know this shit better than your own body?" Law puts down his flashcards and looks at Luffy incredulously.

"I just imagine that I'm ordering the best cuts in a restaurant! Though a cut of its quarters would be called ‘round’ in a restaurant." Luffy looks Law in the eye but can't keep a straight face and ends up losing his shit. His laughter is infectious, much to Law's consternation. Luffy stretches to get rid of the stiffness in his muscles and pushes himself up onto his feet. He still hasn't broken their eye contact, and Law feels completely wrong-footed when Luffy prowls over to him. The moment is shattered when he throws himself onto the seat beside Law with a groan and burrows his face into the crook of Law's neck. Law is motionless for a moment before he throws his arm around Luffy's shoulder and closes his eyes, deciding that they deserve a nap after going through more than a hundred flashcards. Luffy did remarkably well, and Law has a sneaking suspicion that he has been paying more attention in class than he's willing to admit.

They're both dozing lightly when Garp smashes through one of the walls unexpectedly. They jump apart as if electrocuted and Law can't help but think that he's going to develop PTSD if the evening continues on in this fashion.

“Oi, What the hell is wrong with you? We just had that wall fixed, you damned geezer!” Ace bellows from the kitchen. Garp throws his head back and barks out a booming laugh just as Sabo chucks a battered old hammer at his head with a loud: “Fix it!”

Law watches in muted disbelief as the hammer misses its intended target by inches and jams itself into the opposite wall. Luffy laughs uproariously as Garp turns his fury onto Sabo.

“Look at what you did, brat! Come back here!” Garp springs into action, but the blond had wisely turned tail and was out of sight before Garp could catch sight of him. Garp is about to give chase when a muted banging sounds from the floor brought him short. Their downstairs neighbor has started to hit their ceiling with a broom handle or something, shouting profanities at them to keep the noise down.

Luffy snorts and stretches his arms out into the air as he cracks his spine. “Man, you’d think after all these years, Dadan would know better than to interfere when Gramps is in one of his moods.” They watch as Garp rolls up his sleeves decisively with flared nostrils as he marches over to the balcony, throwing the sliding doors open with an almighty crash and jumps down onto the one below without warning.

Law looks over at Luffy in incredulity and gets one of Luffy’s trademark mischievous grins in return. Law feels his muscles loosen at the sight and he relaxes back on the couch. He's starting to get used to their antics by now and can see the attraction of being surrounded by constant action. It certainly makes life more interesting. Luffy is opening his mouth to say something but is cut off when a door to their right was blown open. Ace struts in, sans shirt, and is playing compulsively with an orange lighter.

“Oi, Luffy come see- who the fuck are you?” Ace stops short to glare at Law distrustfully, and Law becomes intensely aware of how close Luffy and he have gotten again.

“My name is Trafalgar Law,” he introduces himself with a slight nod, voice dripping with his natural sarcasm. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Luffy grins and throws his arm over Law’s shoulder with a laugh. “Shishi, there’s no need to be so polite, Trala. Don’t mind Ace, he’s just a rude asshole.”

Ace lets out a shout of denial and lunges for him, but Luffy throws himself over the back of the couch and dances out of his reach. Law flattens himself to the side of the sofa, not willing to be caught in the crossfire. Luffy screeches like he's being murdered when Ace sits on him and takes hold of his ankle in a wrestler's move. Luffy calls out an ineffectual "Uncle!" but manages to kick Ace in the face, so he loses his grip on him and shakes his brother off. Lew decides to let them keep on going in hopes that Ace spends some of Luffy's pent-up energy that's been mounting ever since they started studying.

Law watches as Ace catches Luffy a few more times, but the boy wriggles out of his grasp like a slippery eel. They're still tussling on the floor when Garp vaults up over the balcony rail again. Law's brain short circuits momentarily. Just how strong was this man? No human could frog jump clean between two balconies like that. Why hadn't the old man used the fire escape like a sane person? Law knew the answer to his own question; this whole family was insane.

Garp kicks the two boys apart and grumbles something about being 'too old for this shit' and 'going to take a nap.' Luffy and Ace lie on the ground in separate heaps, both groaning in defeat. Law is about to stand up and drag Luffy back to his study's when Sabo sticks his head out of the newly created hole in the wall.

"Hey guys, help me cook dinner?" Law's gut sinks; this is not going to end well.

 

~*~

 

Law's gut instinct turns out to be right. It looks like a hurricane has ripped through the kitchen and they've hardly even started. Sabo told them that they were cooking lasagna and Luffy had whined about wanting more meat until Sabo had threatened to throttle him if he didn't shut up. Now, Law watches as Luffy whines again petulantly when Ace smacks his hand away from the cheese Sabo is preparing to grate.

“I just want one piece, Ace!” Luffy rubs at the red, spoon-shaped mark on his hand. Ace smirks victoriously, loving how easy it was to get his brother all riled up. He breaks a corner off the cheese and proceeds to showily stuff it into his own mouth. Luffy squawks in indignation and throws himself at his older brother, intent on exacting revenge.

Sabo just rolls his eyes, apparently used to their antics and turns towards Law with a grin. Law is instantly put on guard by the dangerous gleam in the man’s eyes. “So, Trafalgar, how did you meet our little bro?” Sabo asks. The question seems innocent enough, and Law can't see any harm in playing along for now.

“Oh, he helped me fight off Smokey.” Luffy cuts in, his voice slightly muffled from where Ace has him in a head-hold. Ace grins and shakes the boy a little, delivering a rough noogie to his skull.

“What did you do this time, idiot?” Ace cajoles.

“The idiot almost got caught by Smoker,” Law answered for Luffy.

“It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know that eating in the hallways isn’t allowed?” Luffy whined and sends a wounded look Law's way.

"You've been there for an entire year already, how can you not know basic school rules?" Law asks in disbelief.

“So you swept in heroically to save the day?” Sabo throws the half-grated cheese into the bowl with unnecessary force.

“Yeah, I’m a real knight in shining armor.” Law deadpans in response. He has the feeling that if he were alone with Sabo, he'd be in for the fight of his life at that moment.

"That would make you the damsel in distress, Luffy!” Ace laughs; utterly oblivious to the daggers Sabo is sending Law's way.

“No way! I wasn’t in distress or anything!” Luffy protests loudly.

His brothers laugh in his face, cooing “Our little princess!” and tries to blow raspberries into his ears.

“Shishishi, you guys should have seen Smokey’s face! He looked like he was about to have an aneurysm or something.” Luffy crows and Ace drops him to the ground.

“My, you’re saying awfully long words today, Luffy. Was 'aneurysm' your word of the day?” Sabo clucks, pinching Luffy’s cheek teasingly. Luffy huffs a laugh and slaps his hand away.

“You’re such an asshole,” Luffy snorts. “Anyways, Law’s a really cool guy. He distracted Smokey, told him his assistant was stuck in a locker again. He really saved my ass ‘cause I already have a red slip for sleeping in class, and I don’t want to get detention with that earlobe-dude again.”

Ace flicks the side of Luffy’s head at that, “How many times is that this month, doofus? You’re going to fail again if you keep nodding off in class.

“Hey, I’m nowhere near as bad as you! You nearly drowned in your soup last Christmas because you conked out! Gramps had to perform CPR on you.” Luffy shoots back bitingly,

“Moron, that old bastard broke two of my ribs!” Ace tackles Luffy onto the ground where they grapple like a pair of rabid dogs.

Law's attention is dragged away from the bickering pair when Sabo steps towards him and grabs a cutting board from the drawer next to Law's leg and places it on top of the countertop beside them. The skin on Law’s arm prickles when Sabo deliberately catches his eye and smiles at him as he draws out a large meat-cleaver from another drawer. It seems somewhat excessive to use such a big knife for merely cutting onions.

"What are your intentions with my brother?" Sabo asks in a low voice. He chops up the two onions with more force than necessary; the acid irritating Law’s eyes and making them water. Intentions? What was this, a Victorian romance or something?

“Are you a student at Grandline? I mean, you look like you’re thirty, no offense.” Sabo smiles unconvincingly.

“I'm a senior, and I want to become a doctor, so I patch students up for cash. Nobody wants to go to that freak, Caesar. He's always taking 'samples' from them."

“He still has a job there?" Sabo asks in disbelief and shakes his head in disgust. "But how did the two of you get to know each other? I seriously doubt that one run-in was enough to get an invite to his house. Luffy is many things but, I'm sure you've noticed by now, he's kind of guarded when it comes to letting people into his private life.”

“Yeah, you're right. I didn't see Luffy for at least a month after the Smoker incident, but he came to me again after he'd gotten banged up in a fight with that dove freak, Lucci. He stuck around after that, and he grows on you, whether you like it or not.”

“Like a fungus.” Sabo agrees, and Law laughs under his breath at the accurate description of Luffy.

“Anyways, after that, he kept on coming to me whenever he’d been roughened up,” Law remembers the second time Luffy came to him. That time he had come in with a split lip after having tried to catch a tennis ball with his face. If Law's honest, he could remember every single time Luffy ever came to him for help.

“So you must be spending a lot of time together, right? Knowing my little brother, he’s taken it into his head that you two are destined to become the best of friends. Hopefully, he hasn’t been too much of a bother.” Sabo cracks a smile and lowers his knife.

“I don’t really mind. He gives me a lot of practice.” Law tacks on, feeling what could only be described as a fondness for the freshman.

“Alright…” Sabo trails off, not really sure what to do with that tidbit. He's saved from keeping the already stilted conversation going by Ace shouting in the background. They glance over to see Luffy chewing on Ace’s leg. Sabo groans and goes to break the pair up before they cause any permanent damage to each other.

Law looks on for a moment before chuckling slightly. Unfortunately for him, the others decide it's high time that he joins in on the fun and yank him down into their folds.

“Shishishi, you should smile more often, Traffy. It's a good look on you!” Luffy leans over him to poke at the dimple that had appeared on the left side of Law's face. Law shoots him a dirty look and grabs his hand, making Luffy overbalance and topple down onto Law's chest with a grunt.

"Idiot," Law mutters with a smirk. Luffy puts his hand on Law's chest and pushes himself up, making Law wheeze as all the air is pushed from his lungs. Sabo looks on in alarm, but Ace remains oblivious as he scrambles up after Luffy.

Law pulls his eyes away from Luffy’s and finds Sabo staring at him with a slightly manic expression.

“Ace, turn on the heat,” Sabo mutters stiffly, dragging his eyes away from Law and pulls himself up from the floor, dusting off his pants. Sabo shoos Luffy over to chop up some carrots and Law goes over to join him.

Ace claps his hands together in delight and bangs a scorched old pan onto the stove and cranks up the heat. The stove bursts into life as blue flames ignite underneath the pan. Ace throws two handfuls of the chopped onions into the pan before dousing it with cooking wine. He sets on to flambé the vegetables with way too much enthusiasm to be healthy. Sabo shrieks at Ace to calm down when he pours, even more, wine over the pan to feed the flames. The sound of sizzling onions and Sabo's shouting can't drown out the noise of Aces whoops of glee.

Law edges away from the pyromaniac, not feeling the slightest bit of interest in being within reach while wearing anything flammable. Sabo smacks Ace’s hide with a wet towel, barking at him to calm down, but gives it up as a hopeless endeavor when it becomes apparent that the man will not be deterred. Instead, he catches Law’s eye and kicks open a cabinet beside him, and Law’s eyes widened in alarm when he sees the red fire extinguisher come into view.

What. The. Fuck. Seriously? The thing even looked like it had been used plenty of times before. Law nods absently when he sees Sabo’s pointed look. He isn't going to lie, the opportunity to blast someone - a certain pyromaniac - with foam sounds very appealing.

Apparently satisfied with the knowledge that Law will keep an eye on the idiots, the blond picks up a stack of mismatched plates and marches off into the next room to lay the table.

Law runs his palm over his face but feels his lips twitch up into a small grin. Christ, these guys are insane. Luffy looks up at that moment and returns Law's smile before patting the countertop next to him invitingly. Law decides to indulge him and picks up Sabo’s abandoned knife and starts chopping red bell peppers beside him. He listens to Luffy chatter away about some ‘totally awesome’ thing Usopp had apparently done that morning. Law remembers that he'd had to stitch up Usopp that morning as well but indulges him anyway by listening to him retell the tale.

This is going to be the fanciest lasagna Law has ever helped cook.

 

~*~

 

The lasagna is left to cook in the oven and Law manages to turn Luffy's attention back towards his studies. They're sitting by the dining room table, the apartment mercifully quiet for once. Law suspects that the aroma of food has lulled the inhabitants into a stupor. Law is going over Luffy's answers with a red pen; smiling at how many Luffy is getting right.

"You should have another look at the chapter on insulin, but other than that I think you're ready to go," Law muses and puts the sheet of paper down with a smirk. Luffy hoots in delight and sends his things flying to the floor and drags his plate and utensils back into place.

"Man, I am so hungry," Luffy moans and scents the air hungrily. "Hey Sabo, when's dinner ready?" He calls loudly, and Sabo comes into the dining room with a trivet.

"Now." Sabo bangs it down onto the table, and Luffy wriggles in his seat with excitement, clinking his fork and knife together obnoxiously. The doors of the balcony slide open, and a scruffy redhead pokes his head in.

"Is it dinner time now, Luffy?" The stranger asks as he sidles into the apartment.

"Just in time, Shanks!" Luffy answers and pats the seat beside him invitingly. "This is Shanks, our freeloading neighbor." He explains when he sees Law's dubious look. Law decides to just accept this answer and move on with his life.

"Ouch kid, you really hit where it hurts the most. See if I keep coming over if this is the kind of welcome I get." Shanks pouts but settles into his seat shamelessly despite his words.

"Pay rent, and then you can talk," Sabo grunts and slams down the vat of lasagna onto the dining room table. Ace comes in carrying a tankard of water, "For the kid," and two six packs of beer for everyone else. Garp comes tearing into the room and sends a sneer towards Shanks but otherwise leaves the man be. Shanks gains a small notch of respect for that in Law's mind, he's apparently prevailed Garp's relentless attacks to still be alive and mooching off them to this day.

Sabo takes his seat and Law thinks for a moment that he's preparing to say grace or something because he takes a deep breath. What comes out instead is, " _One-two-three-GO_!" and everyone, except for Law, is tearing at the food like a wild pack of hyenas. Law quickly joins in on the fight and is satisfied with his scoop of lasagna, not needing much food to eat his fill.

Dinner is, needlessly to say, a swift and rowdy affair, ending with Luffy throwing himself clean over the table to snatch the last fork-full of food from his grandpa’s hand.

 

~*~

 

Law ends up on wash duty while Shank’s does damage control – saving Luffy from a concussion for stealing Garp's food while Sabo and Ace are too busy laughing themselves silly to do anything more than clutch at each other for support.

Luffy manages to get away in the end, marginally bruised and joins Law in the kitchen to dry the dishes. Sabo wants to keep an eye on them, but Garp tells him to sit his ass down and calm down. Shanks quickly use that moment to excuse himself to the bathroom, not wanting to risk being asked to be of help and trots in the opposite direction of the restroom. Everyone knows he just wants an opportunity to snoop around as well, but Garp is on a mission right now so he can't be bothered to comment.

"You're acting weird kid, and it's getting on my nerves." Garp narrows his eyes at Sabo and waits for an explanation. Sabo informs them of the situation that has arisen and about Law’s less than innocent intent with their baby brother. Garp goes uncharacteristically quiet; a keen look on his face while it takes Ace a moment to process what Sabo has just told them.

“Wait, are you saying that…” Ace’s eyes widen in realization and Sabo gives him an empathetic nod. “NO! No way, I tell you!” Ace crosses his arms to form an X in front of him and slashes the air in denial. Then he stops, looking dramatically down at his trembling hands, “How can you be sure? I didn’t see anything that would suggest something like that.”

Sabo ticks off every single thing he's seen so far off his fingers. Garp's eyes droop as he loses interest in the conversation.

“Luffy is all over that guy – Trafalgar doesn’t seem like the type to enjoy physical contact that much. They keep smiling at each other with this look in their eyes! I just know it!”

“Dude, I think you just imagined things. You’re bound to be paranoid after that Hancock disaster.”

Sabo shakes his head in remembrance “That poor girl." There was a moment of silence; broken only by Garp's quite snoring, before Sabo starts again, "Luffy said his smile looked good for god’s sake! When has that boy ever been attracted to anything that he can’t eat?”

“Well…“ Ace considers with a shrewd look and Sabo punches him in the shoulder with a growl.

“Luffy is not becoming a cannibal! This is serious!” Sabo slaps his brother's arm in annoyance, trying to force him to grasp the situation like he already has.

“I wasn’t going to say that!” Ace starts to protest, but Sabo shuts him up with a sour look.

"You can practically see the sexual attraction sizzling between them!" Garp jerks awake with a snort of alarm when Sabo hisses the word 'sexual' like it's a profanity.

“He wants the D,” Ace chokes out, looking utterly traumatized by the thought. Sabo slams his fist onto the table “He won’t get the chance!”

Garp silences them with a hand, “Boys, it’s time.” They look at him in confusion before realization dawns upon them, and identical pairs of wicked smiles spread across their faces.

“We’ll need to give him a proper welcome and see if he’s up for the challenge.”

 

~*~

 

“Who want’s dessert?” Sabo bellows and Luffy squeals like an excited child. Law follows Luffy back into the dining room at a slower pace and frowns when he sees the Cheshire smile that spreads across Garp's face when he catches sight of him. The vice admiral stays silent and keeps on looking at Law like he knows his darkest secret. Law is uncertain of what that secret may be. Sabo distracts them all when he goes to find the ice cream he's hidden in the freezer, but shouts of dismay are heard when he sees that it's disappeared.

"Alright, which one of you pigs ate it!" He rounds on them, and Ace puts up his hands in mock fright.

"It wasn't me officer, I swear it." Sabo flips Ace off and tells him to shut up.

"Wait, was that supposed to be dessert?" Garp asks, and Sabo groans in disbelief. "I ate that for breakfast."

"Well, there goes dessert." Luffy lets out a mournful sound while Ace launches himself at his grandfather with a desperate shout of grief.

"I think it's time for me to head on back." Shanks pats his stomach with satisfaction and picks at his teeth with a toothpick. Luffy kicks him underneath the table for being such a shameless freeloader but accepts the shoulder hug Shanks gives him when they stand up. Law takes the outstretched hand Shanks offers him to shake.

"It was nice meeting you, kid." Shanks sneak a roll of condoms into Law’s hand with a suggestive wink. “Knock yourselves out, kiddos.” Law is getting the hang of just rolling with the punches and smiles stiffly. He could understand one condom but a roll of them? What the hell did the man think they were getting up to? Luffy plucked them out of his hand and stuffed them into his pocket with a grin. “Same time tomorrow, Shanks?"

"You know it!" Shanks ambles over to the window and climbs out onto the fire escape.

Luffy turns to Law and grabs his hand. "Let's get out of here. I know this place that sells the best ice cream."

Law lets himself be pulled into the living room. "Shakky?" Law remembers being ripped off big time the last time he went there, but their ice cream still haunts his dreams.

"Yeah, you know the place? Shakky gives me a discount every time I come!" Luffy informs him with a cheeky smile.

"Somehow that does not surprise me at all." Law nudges Luffy teasingly. "What did you do? Melt her knees with that charming smile of yours and tell her one of your witty jokes?" Luffy snorts and tells Law to fuck off.

The hammer is still stuck on the wall, and Luffy pulls it out carelessly, making plaster rain onto the floor. He waves it over his head, narrowly missing Law's face in his enthusiasm. “Gramps, don’t forget to fix the wall!” He lets it drop to the ground with a laugh when they hear Garp's furious roar from the other room. They pull on their shoes in a panic before they leg it down the stairwell and out onto the street below. They make it around the corner before they dare slow down to a walk, not wanting to risk it if they were being pursued.

"Man, I am so going to get an A on that test. Vegapunk won't know what hit him!" Luffy spins around in a circle and punches the air.

"You better, after everything I've gone through this evening for you." Law grins down at him. Luffy meets Law's smile, but this time it's softer and more blatant with affection. He grabs Law by the lapels of his coat and drags him in for a kiss.

"Thank you."

Law steals his own kiss hungrily for a moment before drawing away. He wraps his arm around Luffy's waist and steers them in the direction of Shakky's. "I'm holding you to that ice cream, just so you know,"

Luffy cheers and speeds up their pace. "Oh, Grandpa told me to bring you to dinner again tomorrow. He said something about 'another test' and that he 'needed to see what kind of stuff you are made of.'"

"What?" Law brings them to an abrupt halt, and Luffy laughs again. He swallows against the rising horror in his chest, and lets go of Luffy altogether. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that you were coming." Luffy takes off at a run and Law gives chase.

"Seriously! Are you kidding me?" Law shouts and Luffy screams when he catches up with him, kicking at the air when Law spins him around by his waist.

When Law thinks back to it, he knew why he’d let the brat bulldoze over him – he'd be glad to be caught up in the chaos that perpetually surrounded Luffy and didn't even stop to think when he relented and accepted tomorrow's dinner invitation.

 

They really do grow on you... like fungi.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this was a roller coaster, let me tell you! I'm still on the fence if this is too hammy or just the right amount of fast-paced (and completely random) action for One Piece. Please don't hesitate to point out any mistakes I may have missed!
> 
> Come say hi to me on my [Drabble Dump](http://minisceptic.tumblr.com/) or my [main Tumblr](http://scepticalbutterbutt.tumblr.com/)!
> 
>  
> 
> [My other AO3 account](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShyOrator/)
> 
>  
> 
> *Edited - December 17, 2017*


End file.
